Some NSFW language, but it’s real.
A favorite story from the adventures of Dave and Judi is about flowers, specifically flowers on special occasions.
We had been together nearly 20 years and I came home from work ready to deal with a problem. “Dave”, I said. “We have to talk. Every time a special occasion rolls around I watch the flower deliveries come hour after hour, always for everyone in the office but me. I want flowers, too!”
I want flowers, too!
“But you hate flowers” he said.
“Where in hell did you get that idea?” I asked.
“I saw you completely destroy a big bouquet of flowers one day at the radio station. You tore them out, dropped in the wastebasket, stomped them down until they all fit and then left.” he said.
“Let me tell you about that day.” I said. “It was the day my divorce was final. I had just come in to the station to drop orders and copy and go home and I saw those flowers on the desk. They were the size of a casket spray. Everyone in the place was head down, busy, so I later suspected that someone had read the card before me. it said “Hope you’re happy now, bitch”.
Dave was quiet. Probably thinking about 20 years of missed opportunity, LOL. He said all the right things and the next day when I got to my office in Wheaton there were dozens of red roses on my desk. Damn I miss that man.